I am pretty sure y’all can finish my sentence. “Pretty for a Black girl”… One of the most disrespectful “compliments” I have ever heard.
I would actually need both hands and feet to even begin to count the amount of times I have heard this. You would think that the frequency would ease the hurt… but it really doesn’t.
Each time I would take the time to dissect what this statement means. Pretty for a Black girl. Meaning that Black girls are not usually pretty? Meaning that I’m not pretty according to some regular standard?
I remember once I was told that I was the “baddest Black girl” a young man had seen. Now I had to laugh (internally). How many Black girls have you seen?! Because I can turn my head 10 degrees to the right and find BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS Black women everywhere.
Pretty “for” anything is backhanded by nature. It’s belittling and it’s offensive. To give the apology I’m sure none of us received or will receive – I am sorry to anyone who has heard this.
Let’s just get it straight. Beautiful is beautiful. Don’t let anyone dim your beauty down. It took me a long time to realize that I am beautiful because I was so used to being “pretty for…”.
I am beautiful for ME. You are period for YOU. We are beautiful, period. Nothing else to it. Find your beauty. Own your magic.
I WISH I KNEW
- Beauty “standards” are truly just opinions. Not fact (although it can feel like it).
- Internalizing others’ ignorance leads to a world of self doubt.
- I own my beauty both inside and out. “Pretty for…” anything means nothing to me.
If you have faced a similar situation please feel free to comment on our Instagram page @findyourblackgirlmagic. I would love for us all to have an open discussion about our experiences!